레이블이 Graduate Scheme UK인 게시물을 표시합니다. 모든 게시물 표시
레이블이 Graduate Scheme UK인 게시물을 표시합니다. 모든 게시물 표시

2013년 12월 2일 월요일

About 'graduate scheme'|Making the Most of Graduate Schemes [Feature]







About 'graduate scheme'|Making the Most of Graduate Schemes [Feature]








There               is               a               disease               sweeping               across               high               schools               and               colleges               everywhere               that               is               really               starting               to               weird               me               out.

After               having               taught               a               Freshman               Orientation               class               at               my               alma               mater,               I               noticed               an               unbelievable               string               of               just               plain               terrible               paper               writing               by               my               students.

Granted,               this               was               a               non               credit               course               that               they               were               being               forced               into               taking               and               writing               for,               but               the               quality               of               their               work               astounded               me.

I               am               by               no               means               a               great               writer,               but               in               twenty               minutes               I               could               have               cracked               out               a               longer,               more               genuine,               and               better               written               article               than               all               of               these               kids               could               have               created               combined.

Had               I               been               able               to               grade               them,               none               would               have               received               better               than               a               C.

So               that               got               me               thinking...if               these               students,               who               are               typically               bright               kids,               have               degraded               themselves               to               turning               in               papers               of               disturbing               quality,               it               must               be               a               fad.

The               new               "in"               thing               to               do.

Since               I               know               that               all               of               you               popularity               junkies               want               to               get               in               on               the               action,               I               have               compiled               for               you               a               list               of               the               worst               possible               ways               to               write               articles,               papers,               and               essays.

As               amazing               as               it               may               be,               college               students,               even               "honors               program"               college               students,               used               each               and               every               one               of               these               techniques.

Use               these               tips               to               wow               your               friends.
               As               we               all               know,               the               first               thing               you               need               to               do               when               you're               writing               is               to               think               about               a               topic               and               do               a               little               research.

Awful               writers               know               that               the               best               way               to               select               a               topic               to               write               about               is               to               only               consult               one               source.

This               allows               the               awful               writer               to               be               expressly               biased               and               ensures               that               there               is               no               purpose               whatsoever               for               them               to               have               written               their               article,               since               they               are               basically               just               paraphrasing               everything               the               other               person               has               already               said.

After               all,               when               only               considering               someone               else's               singular               point               of               view,               it               leaves               little               room               for               their               own               extrapolation,               just               what               every               awful               writer               really               wants.
               So               once               you've               analyzed               your               one               and               only               source,               you               then               need               to               begin               writing               your               article.

Heavy               paraphrasing               and               recycling               of               quotes               is               all               well               and               good,               but               what               will               really               stamp               you               as               the               real               deal               is               your               ability               to               utilize               vague               and               unrelated               metaphors.

Doing               this               is               kind               of               like               waxing               your               snowboard               before               you               head               down               the               slopes.

It               greases               the               path               and               lets               you,               or               in               this               case,               your               readers               get               really               into               your               work               right               from               the               start.

So               remember               to               wax               your               snowboard,               and               also               remember               to               use               vague               metaphors               that               only               remotely               relate               to               your               topic.
               Good               writers               like               to               stick               to               the               point,               so               of               course,               awful               writers               like               to               go               off               on               tangents.

The               really               awful               writers               can               expand               and               expound               on               these               tangents               for               multiple               paragraphs,               and               occasionally               never               even               make               it               back               to               the               main               point               of               the               article.

I               used               to               know               someone               who               was               famous               for               this.

Whenever               he               would               write               a               paper,               it               was               almost               always               graded               poorly               because               he               couldn't               stick               to               the               topic.

My               friend               always               thought               that               Mr.

Grier,               his               high               school               history               teacher,               had               it               out               for               him.

As               it               turned               out,               he               did.

My               friend               always               got               assigned               the               most               difficult               projects               and               topics               for               his               research.

Whenever               there               was               a               group               project,               Mr.

Grier               always               organized               the               groups               such               that               my               friend               was               with               the               dumbest               kids.

My               goodness,               those               kids               needed               help.

Whether               it               was               the               dumb               jocks,               the               kid               who               didn't               speak               a               word               of               English,               or               that               one               illiterate               kid               who               was               really               good               at               faking               it,               Mr.

Grier               always               knew               who               to               pair               with               my               friend               to               ensure               his               failure.

That's               why               he               never               took               another               history               course               again,               and               has               since               gone               on               to               become               a               banker.
               Awful               writing               is               also               devoid               of               any               personality.

There               are               many               ways               to               achieve               this               effect,               the               first               of               which               is               to               state               fact               after               fact               without               doing               any               actual               analysis               of               what               they               mean               in               the               grand               scheme               of               things.

Another               method               which               is               commonly               used               is               to               continuously               start               each               sentence               with               the               same               few               words.

Another               method               which               is               commonly               used               is               to               write               the               same               message               in               two               ways,               one               right               after               the               other.

Another               method               which               is               commonly               used               is               to               state               the               same               thing               twice,               only               varying               the               words               that               were               used.
               The               awful               writer               should               also               change               tense               and               viewpoint               multiple               times               throughout               the               paper,               and               if               you               can               manage               it,               changing               tenses               within               the               same               sentence.

Personally,               I               think               that               this               can               be               a               difficult               thing               to               do,               but               once               you've               done               it,               your               article               will               become               much               more               awful.

You               can               even               tie               this               in               with               your               tangents               to               utterly               confuse               the               reader.
               Word               use               is               also               important.

Use               slang               and               contractions               whenever               possible,               regardless               of               the               audience               of               your               writing.

Those               Graduate               Thesis               advisers               need               to               lighten               up               anyways.

Also               remember               to               confuse               your               "it's"               and               "its,"               and               the               perennial               favorites,               "you're"               and               "your"               and               "their",               "they're"               and               "there."               If               yore               worried               about               getting               it               correct,               sprinkle               a               little               bit               of               each               around               in               you're               sentences.

If               the               situation               calls               for               it,               and               you               don't               want               to               look               like               a               good               writer               by               using               a               thesaurus,               make               up               your               own               words.

Nothing               gives               you               the               appearance               of               awful               writing               like               a               lack               of               vocabulary.

And               of               course,               we               all               want               to               show               off               our               awfuloscity,               don't               we?
               Making               sure               to               wrap               up               your               paper               or               article               is               also               a               key               part               of               the               awful               writer's               repertoire.

Remember,               just               like               your               4th               Grade               teacher               told               you,               the               only               acceptable               format               for               writing               is               the               five               paragraph               formula.

This               means               that               you               get               one               introduction               paragraph               (don't               forget               to               start               it               out               with               your               "This               paper               is               about..."               statement,               that               will               show               'em),               three               body               paragraphs               to               explain               yourself,               and               one               conclusion.

But               we               all               know               what               that               conclusion               is...a               simple               restatement               of               the               introduction.
               Now               you               know               all               about               being               an               awful               writer.

It               is               a               trendy               thing               to               do,               and               everyone               will               think               you               are               extremely               cool               to               do               it.

There               are               a               lot               of               ways               to               show               off               your               awful               writing               skills,               so               mix               and               match               from               the               above               until               you               achieve               the               result               you're               looking               for.

Then               wrap               it               up               with               a               hesitating,               stunted               conclusion.

The               End.






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